Dr. Bob: “Do I have to ride the bus on a ‘bus tour’?”

Dear Dr. Bob,

My campaign wants me to start riding around the state in a bus to meet people in small towns. Do I really have to ride on the bus or can I just fly in, get on the bus, and then drive into town to campaign?

No Bus Gus

Dear Bus,

This is an excellent question! There are a few ways of answering this question:

1. It depends on what kind of plane you’ll use. Your corporate jet probably will have a difficult time helping you avoid riding on the bus because most small town airports can’t accommodate small jets. You might try using one of the newer twin-engine planes that have most of the amenities you’ve come to expect — and have earned, eh?

2. It also depends on whether you are likely to become ill while riding on a bus. Lord knows who has been using the bus before your campaign leased it and what type of people have ridden on it. As a general rule, the bus riders have their degrees from anything other than an Ivy League school, you are best to avoid it. If you’ll recall from prep school, people who regularly ride a bus have cooties.

3. Finally, if you don’t mind being generally seen as a dick, go ahead with your fly-in and fly-out plan.

Hope that helps.

Dr. Bob

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About Bob Grossfeld

Bob is a longtime political & public affairs strategist. Based in Phoenix, AZ he spends a great deal of his time doing guerrilla therapy for his fellow Arizonans before they succumb to the state's lunacy. The media calls on him frequently to help explain Arizona politics with a straight face.
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